Phillipa Smith: 

OH. MY. GOD. I just had the worst experience at the shops. The worst. I am actually shaking right now. If you’re not a parent with a pram, please don’t park in parents with pram spots! Some burly guy in a ute seriously ruined my day.

Marley Jackson:

I think given this is a mothers’ group, we’re probably all parents and many of us use prams, so this may not be the best place to spread your message of enlightenment.

Gemma Smith:

Oh, you poor thing. That does sound stressful! Have a nice cup of chamomile tea and a lie down, you’ll feel better soon. To be honest, I try to drive as little as possible to do my part for the environment. But that would totally ruin my day too.

Tiffany Beau Gahn:

What type of ute? I love utes!

Phillipa Smith:

Look, I don’t know what type of ute it was, why does that matter? It was in a PWP with no pram! Marley I’ll spread my message wherever I like. It’s a matter of importance for the whole community.

Annabelle Wina:

Couldn’t agree more with this! Did you key his car? I would have. How dare he! Doesn’t he realise how hard it is to go shopping with pram bound children? These spots are legally binding.

Marley Jackson:

Actually, I think its just the shopping centre trying to encourage their biggest spenders to come into the shops more often. And keying someone’s car is actually illegal.

Elizabeth Hartley:

Oh Phillipa, I totally understand! How horrible. Did you have to walk far? You know, one time I was searching for a car parking spot for ages, saw a granny parking in the very last PWP spot. I had a good mind to give her an earful. She probably had hearing aids though. And really, surely if the shopping centre is using this as a marketing opportunity, they would rather have my BMW front and centre rather than a beat up old ute?

Phillipa Francis:

Absolutely Elizabeth! I can’t park my Range Rover in a normal spot! It’s bound to get scratched if I have to park it next to P platers and other non parents. How unfair! Well, they’ll be getting a bill from my auto aesthetic technician. I took a photo of the offending car.

Annabelle Wina:

Post it! Name and Shame!

SMO Admin:

We don’t allow naming and shaming. (You can PM me the photo though if you like. There’s nothing on TV tonight and I’m bored.)

Annabelle Wina:

Well that’s silly admin. We need to know which old ute’s tires to slash. What if we vandalise the wrong car?

SMO Admin:

We don’t condone vandalism.

Tiffany Beau Gahn:

My kids are a bit older and I still use them. I thought the pram symbol just meant parents. Doesn’t really matter anyway, I can just leave my kids in the car.

Elizabeth Hartley:

I’m going to assume that’s a very poorly thought out joke. But I’ll be on the lookout at the mall for your car Tiffany in case I need to rescue your poor babies!

Annabelle Wina:

Really Tiffany, this is serious! How can we fit our SUV’s into normal spaces? It’s ridiculous. No need to be sarcastic.

Tiffany Beau Gahn: 

Well my youngest baby is 8. So its fine to leave him for a little bit. you know, just to nip in to pick up some Rekordling.

Phillipa Francis:

I’m going to ignore that snarky comment Tiffany. This is an important safety issue! Being close to the entrance could save a tiny life! It’s something we should all be concerned with. Lobby your local shopping centre for change! Maybe contact a council member?

Marta Stewart:

Oh, I can organise a petition. What exactly are we petitioning for again? I love organising petitions! I can also do a fundraiser if needed. PS, its probably needed. And there should be a cake stall. I’ll do my famous lemon syrup cake.

Marley Jackson:

If its a safety issue, isn’t it more likely to be an issue with kids out of prams? The ones actually walking independently in the car park?

Phillipa Francis:

No, not at all! Is your child not capable of walking sensibly in a car park? That’s not my problem. God, you’re probably one of those parents that use a child leash! Control your child! My baby in a pram takes precedence over your unruly kids.

Elizabeth Hartley:

It’s not just the safety issue. Prams are so heavy these days, what with the cup holders and extra safety features. Its a lot to push a pram around for shopping and then to have to get across a car park as well. When my kids were this small we had the Jaguar of prams. Amazing thing. Had special designer pouches for your handbag. Stella McCartney I think. I wouldn’t trust my Kate Spade to any other pram. Of course, all the extras make them heavy – so all the extra work, plus getting the kids in and out of the SUV with the high seats…my back was aching all the time! Why should my child be put at risk because I can afford a more adequate pram than others?

Tiffany Beau Gahn:

Wait, so its bad to leave your kids in the car for a few minutes?

Phillipa Francis:

I’m pretty sure its illegal. I mean, what if the shopping centre exploded with your child in the car? You never know these days. Your child would be locked in and no one would know! Or someone could steal your car and bust through the boom gates with your precious baby inside!

Tiffany Beau Gahn:

I don’t think anyone would dare kidnap my eight year old.

Marley Jackson:

I used a leash with my oldest. What’s the big deal? You know, you don’t know why that guy parked in the PWP spot. Maybe he had a good reason.

Phillipa Francis:

What could possibly be more important than my child?

Marley Jackson:

I don’t know – maybe he had a disability you don’t know about?

Phillipa Francis:

Then he should have parked in a disabled parking spot. And if there weren’t any, why take my spot? Just because someone took his spot, doesn’t mean he can take mine! I mean, I’m sorry for his disability, if he had one, but its no excuse.

Elizabeth Hartley:

Exactly Phillipa. I see no difference between disabled parking and PWP spots. Both essential.

Marley Jackson:

Well, aside from the fact that most parents don’t have a disability to contend with, there’s the fact that its illegal to park in a disabled parking spot.

SMO Admin:

Okay ladies. We’ve had a complaint about comparing disabled parking to PWP spots. Please be considerate of others.

Phillipa Francis:

Seriously? I don’t see the difference. My struggles are just as valid as theirs. God, people are so selfish!

Marley Jackson:

Yes, they are.

Marta Stewart:

So who can do a raspberry white chocolate swirl cake for the fundraiser?

Tiffany Beau Gahn:

God I love cake.

Gemma Smith:

Um, that sounds like a lot of carbs and gluten! But I could make a flour less chocolate cake with combucha?

SMO Admin:

I’m shutting this down ladies and turning off comments. No one’s said anything that breaks the rules, but to be honest, I just sat down to my dessert and I can’t be bothered with this. I wanted raspberry swirl cake and now all I can taste is combucha. Chamomile and a lie down for everyone. And ice cream for me. Peace out.